11 Things You Should Never Say At Work

What you say matters. Whether you're voicing an idea during a meeting or making an offhand comment at lunch, everything you say adds to your overall character.

In the new book "Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success," Sylvia Ann Hewlett says three things signal whether a professional is leadership material: how they act, how they look, and how they speak.

Speaking eloquently not only improves your daily communications, it builds up your overall persona and executive presence. "Every verbal encounter is a vital opportunity to create and nurture a positive impression," Hewlett writes.

Some phrases instantly undermine your authority and professionalism, and should be banned from the office. Here are 11 things you should never say at work:

1. "Does that make sense?"

Instead of making sure you're understood, asking this tells the listener that you don't fully understand the idea yourself, career coach Tara Sophia Mohr told Refinery 29. Instead, she suggests asking, "What are your thoughts?"

2. "It's not fair."

Simply complaining about an injustice isn't going to change the situation. "Whether it's a troubling issue at work or a serious problem for the planet, the point in avoiding this phrase is to be proactive about the issues versus complaining, or worse, passively whining," Darlene Price, author of "Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results" told Forbes.

3. "I haven't had time."

"More often than not, this is simply not true," said Atle Skalleberg in a LinkedIn post. Whether you didn't make time for the task or forgot about it, Skalleberg suggests giving a time when it will be done instead of explaining why it's late.

4. "Just"

Adding "just" as a filler word in sentences, such as saying "I just want to check if..." or "I just think that..." may seem harmless, but it can detract from what you're saying. "We insert justs because we're worried about coming on too strong," says Mohr, "but they make the speaker sound defensive, a little whiny, and tentative." Leave them out, and you'll speak with more authority.

5. "But I sent it in an email a week ago."

If someone doesn't get back to you, it's your job to follow up, says Skalleberg. Be proactive when communicating instead of letting the other person take the blame.

6. "I hate..." or "It's so annoying when..."

Insults have no place in the office, especially when directed at a specific person or company practice. "Not only does it reveal juvenile school-yard immaturity, it's language that is liable and fire-able," says Price.

7. "That's not my responsibility."

Even if it's not your specific duty, stepping up to help shows that you're a team player and willing to go the extra mile. "At the end of the day, we're all responsible," Skalleberg says.

8. "You should have..."

"Chances are, these fault-finding words inflict feelings of blame and finger-pointing," Price says. She suggests using a positive approach instead, such as saying, "In the future, I recommend..."

9. "I may be wrong, but..."

Price calls this kind of language "discounting," meaning that it immediately reduces the impact of whatever you're about to say. "Eliminate any prefacing phrase that demeans the importance of who you are or lessens the significance of what you contribute," she says.

10. "Sorry, but..."

This implies that you're automatically being annoying. "Don't apologize for taking up space, or for having something to say," says Mohr.

11. "Actually..."

Prefacing sentences with this word, as in, "Actually, it's right over there," or "Actually, you can do it this way," puts distance between you and the listener by hinting that they were somehow wrong, according to Carolyn Kopprasch, chief happiness officer at Buffer. Rephrase to create a more positive sentiment.

Source: BI | EMMIE MARTIN

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11 Interview Questions Hiring Managers Ask To Test Your Personality

Employers today aren't necessarily only looking for candidates with the right set of technical skills and years of experience under their belt. They want to hire those who also have something unique to offer - like a great personality 0r strong set of soft skills.

"In fact, if they find a candidate who has less experience than their competition, but has stronger growth potential and seems to be a better cultural fit, the employer may feel encouraged to hire that person," says Edward Fleischman, chief executive officer of Execu Search, a full-service recruitment, temporary staffing, and retained search firm.

In an effort to find new hires that are great cultural fits, employers are putting more emphasis on soft skills, or intangible qualities, "that are not always apparent on a piece of paper," he says. "Though the specific personality traits that employers are looking for are subjective to the role and the organization, some qualities that are a good indication of success in a role include organizational and communication skills, great team player, strong leadership skills, an ability to think on your feet, drive, and initiative."

To figure out if candidates possess the soft skills or personality fit that they are looking for, employers often ask these 11 interview questions that aim to get a closer glimpse at one's personality:

If your best friend was sitting here, what would they say is the best part about being your friend?

The purpose of this question is to bring out a sense of honesty and candor in a candidate. "Learning about what makes an applicant a good friend allows employers to get a better feel for whether or not they would fit in with the company culture," Fleischman says.

If you could change one thing about the way you approach challenges, what would it be?

This question, which puts candidates on the spot, allows hiring managers to evaluate a candidate's self-awareness and ability to admit there are some aspects of their professional life they would like to improve, Fleischman explains. "Since humility is an important quality to many employers, a response to this question is something they listen closely to."

If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

This inquiry is a favorite amongst hiring managers because it allows them to not only evaluate how quickly someone can think on their feet, but it also requires candidates to exercise some degree of creativity in a relatively short amount of time, he says. These are two skills that can be applicable to solving almost any business challenge.

What has the most satisfying moment in your life been?

When employers ask this question, they are looking to see what motivates a candidate and whether or not their values fit into the company culture, Fleischman says.

How would your last supervisor describe you in three words?

"This inquiry gives the employer a glimpse into how others view a candidate's professional value," he explains. Since this question is specific in the fact that it asks about the applicant's last role, the answer will help employers see if these traits are applicable to their organization.

What drives you in your professional life?

Employers ask this question to gain insight into what motivates a candidate both in their career and as a potential employee. "As cultural fit becomes more important to employers and their business as a whole, many look for candidates whose goals align with theirs, and asking this question allows them to assess what exactly a candidate's goals are," Fleischman says.

What drives you in your personal life?

Similarly, this question aims to delve into a candidate's personality and better assess their cultural fit. "By developing a better understanding of a job seeker's non-work life, and by learning about what drives them personally, an employer can get a better grasp of the type of personality they'd be bringing to the company," he says. In addition, painting a picture of a candidate's personal goals can help an employer better understand how motivated they are in general.

What types of hobbies do you enjoy outside of work?

Just like learning about what drives someone in their personal life, discovering how someone spends their time outside of work and what specific activities they enjoy and invest in can give an interesting look into their personality, Fleischman explains. In addition, hobbies can translate into specific soft and hard skills that can be applicable to many jobs, and employers are often interested in learning what a candidate has to offer outside their resume's "skills" section.

Can you take me through a scenario at work that was particularly stressful for you, and how you handled it?

This question shows not only the candidate's ability to think on their feet, but also their ability to be diplomatic, he says. For example, if the stressful situation was due to someone else's errors, was the candidate able to speak about it in a professional, tactful way? On the other hand, if the stressful situation was due to their own error, it shows a great deal about a candidate if they can take responsibility for it in their explanation.

If you could meet a celebrity, who would it be and why?

Many people admire certain celebrities and public figures. Learning about who a candidate would be most excited to meet offers another interesting viewpoint into their personality and their values - two important factors of cultural fit.

Have you ever played on a sports team?

The answer to this question can reveal personality traits that are important to certain companies, depending on the nature of their business. "For example, a former athlete could be a great team player or, depending on the sport or position they played, may thrive best while working on their own," Fleischman explains. Sometimes, athletes (current or former) possess a competitive nature, which can be a positive trait in some lines of business and a negative one in others.

Source: BI | JACQUELYN SMITH

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7 Bad Speaking Habits That Turn People Off

Not even the best ideas can put you on the path to success if no one will listen to you.

Speaker and author Julian Treasure gave a popular TED Talk last year that explained how anyone can speak effectively, whether in a conversation or in front of a crowd. How well you influence others is as much about you do say as what you don't.

Here are the bad habits you need to avoid if you want people to listen to you, which Treasure calls the "seven deadly sins of speaking":

1. Gossiping

Speaking badly of somebody else seems to have a chain reaction, Treasure says. If you engage in gossip, you can give yourself a bad reputation and inspire others to start gossiping about you.

2. Judging

If you fill your conversations with judgments of others, you're making the person you're speaking with self-conscious of being judged themselves, Treasure says. They'll be afraid to open up to you and may shut down completely.

3. Being negative

"My mother, in the last years of her life, became very, very negative, and it's hard to listen," he says. "I remember one day, I said to her, 'It's October 1 today,' and she said, 'I know, isn't it dreadful?'" Choosing to be optimistic will make you more enjoyable to talk to. Plus, it's better for your health.

4. Complaining

Complaining easily becomes a habit, and before you know it, you'll be known as the person who complains about the weather, the news, work, and everything else. It's what Treasure calls "viral misery."

5. Making excuses

Some people have a "blamethrower," Treasure says, putting the blame on anybody and anything except themselves when met with failure. While others may let the occasional excuse slide, a constant stream of them reveals that you do not take responsibility for your actions.

6. Exaggerating

Exaggeration "demeans our language," Treasure says. Adding dramatic flair is essentially a form of lying, and "we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us."

7. Being dogmatic

It's dangerous when opinions and facts become confused. Nobody wants to be bombarded with opinions stated as if they were true.

Source: BI | RICHARD FELONI

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How to Start a Conversation You’re Dreading

I anticipated that the conversation would be difficult.

Shari* and I had worked together for many years, and I knew she was expecting me to hire her to run a leadership program for one of my clients, Ganta, a high-tech company. But I didn’t think Shari was the right fit for Ganta or, frankly, for the role of running the leadership training. In fact, I had become increasingly critical of her recent performance, though I hadn’t mentioned anything to her about it yet.

That was my first mistake. I should have said something before it got to this point.

So why didn’t I? I’d love to claim that it was because I liked her, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Or because I hoped things would get better without my intervention.

And while those things were true, there was a deeper truth: I was afraid of the cringe moment.

Do you know that uneasy moment – right as you’re saying something that feels risky, but before the person responds? That’s the cringe moment.

In other words, I delayed speaking with Shari because I was afraid of how I would feel giving her the negative feedback: awkward, uncomfortable, and maybe even unreasonable.

But I couldn’t avoid it anymore. And because I had waited so long, the conversation promised to be even more awkward and uncomfortable. And now that she was getting a more extreme message with no warning, I would feel – and appear – even more unreasonable. The cringe quotient had gone up.

The day of the difficult conversation, I felt anxious as Shari came into my office. We shared a few pleasantries and then I began. I told her that I knew she wanted to run the leadership program at Ganta. I talked to her about the complexities and challenges of the leadership program and of Ganta in general. And I spoke with her about my frustrations with her recent performance. She asked me questions and I offered explanations and examples.

I did such a good job avoiding the cringe moment that, 30 minutes into the conversation, I still had not clearly communicated to Shari whether I was firing her or hiring her. My build-up was equally appropriate as context for either.

Finally, she did it for me. “So,” she asked, “Are you saying that you don’t want me to lead this program or you do?”

Now that I’m aware of it, I see my own behavior in leaders everywhere. Standing in front of the room, one senior VP slowly constructed a case to close a business.  But he never got to his conclusion as people began debating unimportant details related to his argument before they even knew where he was headed.

In another case, a CEO sat in a meeting of department heads with the intention of telling them she was creating a new position to which they would all report. But she lost them as she spent the first 20 minutes giving context to a decision she hadn’t yet announced. As one person later told me, “All of the context was lost on me as I was trying to guess what she was getting at. It was a complete waste of time.”

The intellectual reason we build a case, or give context, to a difficult decision before announcing it is because we want to convey that the decision is well-thought out, rational, and an inevitable conclusion to the facts. But since the listeners don’t know what decision is being made, they have no context for the context and it all feels meaningless.

The emotional reason we give such long introductions to hard decisions is because we are procrastinating. We’re delaying the cringe feeling.

But this delay is counterproductive; it only stretches and deepens the discomfort of everyone involved.

The solution is simple and straightforward: Lead with the punchline.

What should I have said to Shari? “Thanks for coming in, Shari. I am not going to have you run the leadership program with Ganta, and I’d like you to understand why . . . ”

The senior VP should have started by saying, “I have come to the conclusion that we should close XXX business.”

And the CEO should have opened her meeting with the department heads by declaring “I have created a new Senior Vice President role, reporting to me, who will oversee this part of the business.”

After those openings, people will be interested in hearing the rest. Or,

they may surprise you with instant agreement and there may be little more to discuss.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize: I almost always overestimate how difficult it is for the other person to hear what I have to say. People are resilient. I’m usually more uncomfortable delivering a difficult message than the other person is receiving it.

Next time you have a conversation you’re dreading, lead with the part you’re dreading. Get to the conclusion in the first sentence. Cringe fast and cringe early. It’s a simple move that few of us make consistently because it requires emotional courage. At least the first time.

But the more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. Being direct and upfront does not mean being callous or unnecessarily harsh. In fact, it’s the opposite; done with care, being direct is far more considerate.

And it doesn’t just reduce angst, it saves time as well. Shari wasn’t happy about not running the program at Ganta, but she understood why and accepted the decision quickly. Much more quickly than it took me to introduce it to her.

*Names and some details changed.

Source: HBR [Peter Bregman]

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7 Body Language Tricks To Make Anyone Instantly Like You

There's no question that body language is important.

And, according to Leil Lowndes in her book "How To Talk To Anyone," you can capture - and hold - anyone's attention without even saying a word.

We've selected the best body language techniques from the book and shared them below:

The Flooding Smile

"Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet someone," says Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of sight would receive that same smile.

Instead, pause and look at the other person's face for a second, and then let a "big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes."

Even though the delay is less than a second, it will convince people your smile is sincere and personalized for them. According to Lowndes, a slower smile can add more richness and depth to how people perceive you.

Sticky Eyes

"Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with sticky warm taffy," Lowndes advises. Even after they've finished speaking, don't break eye contact. "When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string finally breaks." This technique will help you appear more intelligent and insightful.

You can also try counting your conversation partner's blinks. In a case study, subjects reported significantly higher feelings of respect and fondness for their colleagues who used this technique.

Epoxy Eyes

In a group of people, you should watch the person you are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If you concentrate on that person even when they are simply listening, you show that you are extremely interested in his or her reactions.

The Big-Baby Pivot

People are very conscious of how you react to them. When you meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the same, undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says, "Pivoting 100% towards the new person shouts, 'I think you are very, very special.'"

Limit the Fidget

If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much when your conversation really matters. "Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch," Lowndes says. Frequent hand motions near your face can give your listener the feeling that you're lying or anxious. Instead, simply fix a constant gaze on the listener and show them that you're fully concentrated on the matter at hand.

Hang By Your Teeth

This visualization trick will help you look more confident with your posture, which Lowndes describes as "your biggest success barometer." To do this, visualize a leather bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Pretend that you are taking a bite on the dental grip, and let it sweep your cheeks into a smile and lift you up.

"When you hang by your teeth," Lowndes says, "every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position." Your head will be held high, shoulders back, torso out of your hips, and feet weightless.

This trick also works because of the frequency people walk through doorways. If you visualize anything often enough, it becomes a habit. "Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big winner."

Hello, Old Friend

When you first meet someone, imagine they're your old friend. According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious reactions in your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes.

An added benefit to this technique is that when you act as though you like someone, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy - you might really start to like them. Lowndes says, "What it boils down to is love begets love, like begets like, respect begets respect."

Source: BI

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15 Things You Should Never Say In A Salary Negotiation

You secured the interview, brought your A game, and landed the job. Now comes the hard part: negotiating your salary.

"Salary negotiations are like any other type of negotiations — except the words you use can be extremely powerful, since there is a personal aspect to the discussion," says HR expert Steve Kane. "The negotiation is not over the worth and price of an inanimate object, but rather the value of you to some enterprise."

Here are 15 words and phrases that may hurt more than they'll help in a salary negotiation: 

"I accept [the first offer]."

Remember: This is a negotiation, so be careful not to end it before it has even had a chance to start, says Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, and author of "Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad."

"I'm looking for X."

Never throw out the first number. "You want to leave room for discussion," says Lynn Taylor, author of " Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job ."

Kahn agrees. "A good negotiation strategy is to let the employer offer the first number. That puts you in a position to see the number they are offering and gives you the opportunity to negotiate it up from there."

"That's all you're offering me?"

Never say this, or anything else that will offend the employer — even if you think the salary they're offering is laughable.

"No."

"In negotiations, you'll have to be willing to be flexible and provide counteroffers when the offer isn't in line with what you are seeking," says Kahn. By saying "no" you could be quickly closing the door on the offer at hand.

"I have other outstanding offers right now that are much more lucrative."

Even if it's true, you shouldn't use "that card" to pressure the employer, Taylor says. "Only discuss the offer at hand."

And if you don't have another offer on the table, you'll definitely want to avoid this tactic. " You could shoot yourself in the foot," Taylor says. "The hiring manager may ask you to elaborate and if you're bluffing, it'll be hard to save face."

"Bottom line"/"This is my final/last offer."

These phrases sounds like threats, and they typically close out the negotiation, says Kane. "If you say any of these things, and the demand is not met by the employer, the negotiation will be over and you'll have to be prepared to walk away."

"I know this may sound a little aggressive, but..."

If your rationale is based on fact, you should never have to preface your request with this type of disclaimer.

"I need..."

You should never say you need X amount more because of expenses or debt. "Don't bring in personal issues; this is about your merit and the job fit," says Taylor.

"I hate to have to ask for this, but..."

True, it might not be the easiest thing to ask for more money — but saying you "hate to have to do it" is a flat out lie. Plus, it's just a really terrible way to preface the negotiation.

"I think..."

Don't use "I think" or "maybe" or any other "uncertain words," says Jessica Miller-Merrell, editor of Blogging4Jobs.com and CEO of Xceptional HR. "Always speak confidently."

"The least I'd be willing to accept is X."

If you tell them the parameters of the lowest offer your willing to take, that could be what you'll get.

"Sorry"

Have confidence in yourself. "If you know your value and what you'll be bringing to the company, there will be no need to apologize for asking for more," Kahn says. 

"Cheap"/"Lousy"

These words are demeaning or disrespectful to the employer, Kane explains. "The employer may decide they don't want you to work there after all because of the lack of respect you show them."

"But I'm worth so much more."

Of course you'll want to mention your value in a salary negotiation — but try to say it in a way that isn't so obnoxious. You never want to come off as arrogant.

"You might not think I'm worth this, but…"

Just don't.

"You want to be direct, polite, and concise in your negotiation to show that you are competent and a valued member of the team," Miller-Merrell concludes.

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Source: Yahoo Finance

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Virgo Personality Traits

Virgos are known for their independence, but to an outsider they can appear to be self-centered and selfish. Due to this independent nature, they may seem emotionally unavailable, and will rarely have an open discussion about their feelings (whether it be their hurts, desires or dreams).

We all need each other, and we all like to receive appreciation for a job well done. An individual born as a Virgo is not any different.

A Virgo is a straight shooter, they don’t “sugar coat” something, and they tell it like it is. This behavior may be hurtful to others as it might to too blunt for most to handle, but if you want to know the hard cold truth, it is your Virgo friend that you want to go to.

The mind of a Virgo is very analytical, and this personality trait is perfect for the inside of interrogation rooms, and for uncovering the truth.

Well-known Virgos that you may be familiar with include: Mother Teresa (August 27th), the entertainers: Michael Jackson, Greta Garbo, Ingrid Bergman, Peter Sellers and the beautiful Sophia Loren. Other individuals that have shared the Virgo personality traits are Queen Elizabeth I, Prince Albert, Henry Ford II and Ivan the Terrible.

Virgos’ strive for perfection in all they do; they do not make snap decisions. They spend the time to gather vital information, and then analyze the pros and cons of the facts on hand before making an informed decision. This personality trait of Virgos could be a hindrance, because they never seem to live up to their unrealistic goal of attaining perfection, and they expect the same type of perfection from those around them, which can cause tension in a personal and/or working relationship.

Virgos are the “work horse” of the horoscope signs; they will work until their bodies collapse from exhaustion. It is recommended to Virgos to delegate chores/work, but a Virgo needs to realize (and accept), that not everyone works with the same speed or dedication that you do.

Many people envy the organizational skills of a Virgo. For example, after a natural disaster, a Virgo will be the first to have the tents pitched, temporary housing organized for the victims, water and food shipments scheduled and roads cleared for emergency vehicles.

With an acute eye of detail, a Virgo may miss the “big picture” in life. Although it is certainly a challenge to take a step back and relax (or decompress from the pressures of the day), it is important to realize that tomorrow is another day. Incorporating time to meditate and/or exercise daily is essential to release stress and worry. Without a “balanced” lifestyle, a Virgo will get irritable, and be buried under unnecessary stress.

Males and females born between August 23rd and September 22nd share the same Virgo personality traits of being charming and carry themselves with class and dignity.

Source: http://xstrology.org/

4 Reasons Your Employees Hate Your Guts

Life is too short to hate your job. That’s what we were all told growing up and as a Millennial, we were programmed to believe we must love what we do in order to excel. Unfortunately, 60 percent of millennials are quitting the jobs they thought were the ones of their dreams. Even more, many are leaving their positions within the first three years or less. That turnover is costing companies money, time and confidence.

With that stat in mind, what can be done to curb employees from leaving? First and foremost, consider your role in their career at your office.

Employees Quit Leaders

In fact, 75 percent are quitting managers, not their job. It’s not comfortable to think about, but it is true and something a company leader needs to know. Greg Savage, an established global leader of the recruitment industry, admits that in the beginning of his career as a leader, it was easy to point fingers. When an employee quits, the first response is to look for what is wrong with them or what they could be thinking.

As a human, it’s okay to have those initial thoughts, but the next step is to learn from the loss.

“When they talk about “morale,” when they say, “communication is poor,” when they express frustration at the lack of clarity for their career progression — they are telling you that it’s the leaders they are leaving.” -Greg Savage

It’s Not Completely Hopeless

Chances are there has been a time when personality is all that got in the way. You can’t please everyone and that’s just a life thing, but there if you’re seeing a pattern in employees leaving for reasons similar to those above, you may need to consider some new habits.

Be Authentic

Nowadays, being genuine is a huge morale concern. It’s become an increasingly bigger factor in the happiness a millennial has in the company. To be authentic is to be transparent to applicants, honest about problems with employees and open to hearing the suggestions of both.

Fortunately, this is something that a leader can change right away. In meetings, open the floor to comments and suggestions and ask how your team is doing on projects. For applicants, look at your job descriptions. Are you revealing enough about the position? There may be some things you aren’t able to divulge, but being honest will always help build the trustworthiness of the company.

Encourage Success if You Want to See it

When an employee enters the office, the last thing they want is to hate being there. Unfortunately, as numbers show, this may be the case a majority of the time. Fixing this feeling probably won’t happen over night, but there are definitely some ways to go about encouraging a happier workplace.

Again, the fastest way to get on the right track is to start with the leader. Check your attitude. Do you enter the office with a less than pleasant demeanor? Well, there’s definitely been a case building forworkplace optimism. Simply bringing your smile to the office can make a difference.

You should also be communicating with your employees. Address the challenges your team is facing. That doesn’t mean you need to divulge all problems and the little intricate pieces that you are working on (not right away at least). Think of your office as a little community and you are the public relations official, because honestly, in a time of hardship, that’s exactly what you are.

Being a leader is hard, but no one ever said it would be a walk in the park. As a leader, you have to wear many faces and, above all, realize that you are sometimes the problem. Improving yourself will improve your team.

Source:RedMedia

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5 Career Mistakes You Will Regret In 10 Years

Too many of us navigate our careers like we’re paddling across a lake, not sailing across an ocean. We are short-sighted when making decisions. We focus on completing the task at hand, fighting for the next promotion, outperforming a colleague. But there are many seemingly minor actions that can have a major impact on your career’s trajectory. Ignore them and you risk arriving on a shore you didn’t choose, or worse, capsizing on an unexpected reef! Here are 5 career mistakes that can negatively impact your career down the road:

1.    Network only within your company. Most people are aware of the value of networking. Not traditional “gladhanding”, attending events just to pass out your business card, but real relationship building. Expanding your horizon with other people’s perspectives. Opening yourself up to new ideas. Building relationships that will make your day-to-day work easier and more successful. But too many people limit their networking activities to within their own company. Cultures can be quite different, as those who have worked in several companies know. Exposing yourself to truly new ideas and perspectives requires getting outside of your culture and the circle of colleagues you find most convenient to interact with. Sail more than one sea! Many of the most influential professional relationships you will have will be with those outside of your company – especially when times get tough. It may not be easy, but investing in these external relationships will pay off.

2.    Make decisions based on money. Statistics will say that no matter how much money we have, we always wish we had at least 20% more. Changing course on the promise of an incremental increase in earnings is tempting. We all find it tough to ignore a promotion, raise or even a change in company that will feed our hungry bank accounts. But over time in a career, you are paid for the impact you have had, not your title. Choose the path that provides you the most valuable experiences, develops the most significant relationships, and allows you to learn at the fastest rate, regardless of income. Prioritizing experience over income will lead to dramatically higher earnings over the long run.

3.    Avoid Failure. Over the course of a career, you will often be faced with two alternative paths – one with seemingly much higher risk. Many high performers are often frustrated by always being put into very uncertain roles, where others have failed before and success may not even seem likely. But executives manage their high potential employees like this for a reason. Difficult situations lead to accelerated growth—not just in learning about business and leadership, but in learning about yourself. Long-term success is based on gaining a combination of experiences, but also on navigating toward roles that leverage your unique strengths and passions, and steering away from those that don’t. The most difficult circumstances often precipitate to the greatest personal growth.

4.    Buy a House. That’s right, buying a house can hurt your career, particularly early on. Organizations value mobility. They want their high-potential employees to gain broad experiences. Even at the CEO level, boards look for candidates who have experience across multiple functions, multiple divisions within the company, and global exposure. It’s hard to collect those assets when you are anchored in one harbor. Buying a house locks you into a location. Sure, you think that if a great opportunity presented itself, you can always sell it. But companies today are much less likely to pay significant moving expenses. And the effort and expense involved in selling a house and relocating can be a significant headwind, causing you to pass up what may have been game-changing opportunities.

5.    Miss opportunities to help others. When you do something that creates real value for organizations or others, you will almost always be paid for it, and almost never immediately. This is a fact of life in a professional career, but not one that is widely known. In my first book, The 5 Patterns of Extraordinary Careers, our research found that the most successful professionals were over four times more likely to focus on the success of those around them than even their own success! Winning the long game in a career requires a broad base of support from peers and colleagues at every stage in your career. If you see an opportunity where your actions can truly benefit another, take the time to make it happen, without any expectation of return benefit.  Call it positive Karma or whatever you like, but over time the good will you build up will create a groundswell of support when you least expect it, but need it most.

These mistakes are relatively easy to navigate around, once you are aware that they exist. Network broadly; chart your course by experiences, not paychecks; embrace challenging situations; stay mobile and lead with generosity. By setting your sights on the distant horizon of your career, rather than the water at your prow, you won’t have to pay for these 5 career mistakes in 10 years—or ever.

By: Rick Smith

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4 Things Your Boss Won't Tell You About Advancing Your Career

A vice president of a financial company once told me, “Make a plan—or someone else will make one for you.” And this advice is never truer than when it comes to taking charge of your career.

If you’ve worked hard, fulfilled your responsibilities, and received positive performance reviews, then you’ve successfully followed what most people would call a career development plan. Unfortunately, that’s a far cry from what I call a career advancement plan. To make significant forward movement, you’ll need to go beyond being great at your current job—but, as I often tell clients in my leadership coaching practice, if you’re waiting on advice from your boss about how to do that, you’d be wise not to hold your breath.

Pace Productivity, Inc. found that while managers overwhelmingly cite “people management” as their most important priority, a typical mid-level manager spends a measly 3.3 hours per week managing people. Of that time, only two hours are allocated to coaching, training, and mentoring. Meanwhile, administrative tasks suck up a whopping 24% of their time. So, sure—your boss wants to help you grow. Right after he or she files travel expenses, signs off on a purchase order, and declines a meeting request.

So, to give you more reliable input for your career advancement plan, I talked to two of the smartest leaders I know: Donnell Green, global head of talent management and development with Blackrock; and Dr. Caroline Simard, associate director of diversity and leadership with the Stanford School of Medicine. They shared some key strategies that all employees should know—but aren’t always told—about moving upward.

1. Get Good Bosses

Those who have successfully advanced in the workplace—and hope to continue on that path—know that working for the right leader is the first logical step to becoming a leader. Green, for example, knew that taking charge of her career meant building a support network of coaches, mentors, and sponsors.

“Don’t go it alone,” she advises, “and give careful consideration to who is in your management chain. Work for people you respect, and get a good boss. I have built great relationships with my bosses and created value for them. Having the support of your manager can make or break a career.”

Why is a great boss so important? According to Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman, the best leaders provide career-boosting training, development, and coaching, and they help employees capitalize on their strengths. They also provide you with role models to emulate as you learn to lead. If you don’t know of any great talent developers in your direct management chain, ask around to discover who they are. If there’s no possibility of working directly for them, enlist them as a mentor.

2. Narrow Paths Can Be Precarious

Imagine if you tried to nurture a delicate seedling by gripping onto it so tightly that you almost squeeze the life out of it. Don’t do that to your most important career goals!

What I mean is this: You may have a very specific idea of where you want to be and what you think you need to do to get there. And if you are fortunate enough to get your manager’s input, he or she will probably prescribe your company’s pre-set career track: a narrow, linear path with fewer opportunities the higher you climb.

But according to Simard, you need to be open to adjusting that plan. “If you’re too attached to a very narrow definition of success or plan for your career, you will ignore amazing opportunities,” she warns. “Keep your eye on the goal, but don’t stand in the way of the end result. Sometimes, that means doing a task that you’re not particularly interested in. But if it’s really important to achieving your vision, it’s absolutely worth doing.”

Even in her own career plan, Simard doesn’t have a set route: “I try to have a plan, but it’s a flexible plan.”

As a president in the automotive repair industry once told me, “Choose the one thing that is most important to you in your next role—be it location, a certain function, a particular level in the organization, whether you’d like direct reports, or whatever it is—and then be as flexible as you can about the rest. You’ll be more likely to actually get that next role.”

3. Timing is Everything

In 2011, when Accenture surveyed 3,400 executives, they found that only 37% had asked for a raise, promotion, or job change, but of those who asked, 65% said it helped. In fact, 59% of people who asked for a promotion got one. So what’s the simplest way to get a promotion? Statistically speaking, it is to ask for one.

But no one—including your boss—is going to tell you when or how to make that request.

And according to Green, strategically timing your request is incredibly important. “The right conversation held at the wrong time can be harmful,” she warns, “as is failing to be mindful that your boss is in a bad mood or the person you’re talking to is the wrong person. Pay attention to timing and use those instincts for these conversations.”

So, consider the corporate culture of your office. When is the right time to ask for a promotion? For example, some organizations want you to indicate your interest in moving up when you sit down for your annual performance review. But in others, you would have missed the boat entirely because succession planning already took place, and candidates have already been identified to fill their superiors’ roles. In that case, six months before your review would be the ideal time to ask HR if your performance merited you a place in the succession pipeline.

To determine which approach is best, observe how others get promoted. Ask about when and how your organization handles talent development decisions like succession planning, performance evaluations, and identification of high-potential talent so you can choose the optimal time to make your request.

4. Don’t Be All Business All the Time

You might assume that your boss wants you to give 110%, all the time—but ironically, doing so could cause you to miss out on a key strategy for high performance and getting ahead. In fact, the Corporate Executive Board found that employees who believe they have good work-life balance work 21% harder than those who do not.

Simard, who leads an initiative at Stanford School of Medicine to increase work-life integration, concurs that maintaining a healthy balance is extremely important in career advancement. “Don’t ignore work-life fit,” she advises. “These two pieces need to go hand-in-hand in everything you do.”

Green agrees. “Mind the seriousness and intensity!” she says. “If you’re someone who people enjoy being around, have a sense of humor, and don’t take yourself seriously, you’ll have followership—and that followership will advance your career.” By being a role model of balance and encouraging colleagues to do the same, you’ll increase their desire to stay in their jobs, the performance of the team, and your own leadership potential.

Your own boss may not tell what you need to advance your career, and you won’t find the best strategies listed in the corporate employee handbook, either. So take it from these two pros who have seen what it takes to lead. Find a great boss, set flexible career goals, consider the timing before you ask for a promotion, and get some balance.

Source: Forbes

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