WORKING in this job profile has brought out the worst in me. My colleagues have nicknamed me ‘Temperamental Tarun”, one colleague scowled. “It is not in my nature to get angry, but my vendors always delay the assignments and I have to look small to my clients.” He complained that losing his temper on handling delays was really causing him a personality hazard. He had become impatient and irritable not just at work but also at home. I guess when one form of behaviour continues too long, it eventually settles down as a personality trait.
Tarun’s story is quite common in the work place today. There are increasing demands, too much workload, not enough time, and not to mention the drastic imbalance of personal and professional life. Generally most people are feeling the stress of making things happen, in time. No matter what you do, there is someone who has the power to hold up your work or make it run smoothly for you. Getting work done from people can become frustrating to the point that anger management for your own sake becomes extremely crucial.
When you desire to get your work done from a colleague or a client, there are good chances that they may have other tasks or other clients to handle too, and everyone wants their work as a priority. And sometimes people tell you things you want to hear because they don’t have the ability to say no, or lose your business. Sometimes people don’t have the time or the infrastructure to cater to your needs. Or they have family pressures, which come in the way of your work and in giving into family demands; they work up your temper.
To get work done amicably without a public display of anger and causing a painful dent in your personality, it is best that you keep a close tab on your project.
1. Be curious whether your client or colleague has the ability to execute your project. “You have a hundred other titles to cater to, do you think you will have the facility to promote my book? I understand that for you it is one book in a hundred but for me it is the only book.” I clarified this with my publisher when I signed up for my publishing contract.
2. Be curious if your colleague has the time to do your task. Before I give my manager an assignment I always ask her, “Don’t you have other work to do? Don’t you have to go back home early? Will you be able to put in the extra hours with the family pressure?” And when she works her way out on how she will do the work, I assign it to her. It is no point asking her to meet deadlines and then hear the excuse: “My mother in law needed me home so I could not do the work!”
3. Be curious on how you can help. It is a good idea to offer support when people work on your assignment. “Is there any way I can contribute? Would you like me to organise your lunch?” Anything that extends your involvement or support is a good reinforcement on your project.
4. Be curious on the progress of your assignment. Follow up on regular intervals not just on the status of your assignment but also give some positive feedback and news regarding the project. “I told my boss that you were doing the assignment and he is very excited about it. How far are we on the project?” is a good follow up and reinforcement.
No one likes to get angry. No matter how much you may think that your boss derives pleasure in screaming at you, it’s not true. Have you gotten angry with someone? Does it not make you feel bad and guilty for hours afterwards? Does your anger not trickle into your work? Into your decisions? Into your relationships? The effects of anger are far more sinister and dangerous than you will ever fathom. Anger is not an emotion one enjoys and so it is crucial that anger becomes an emotion that one manages and avoids. Corporate trainer & best-selling author of ‘I Am Another You’
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